I’ve been doing this a while now. The first online date that I ever went on was 3 and a half years ago. It was a great date.. ever since then things have just gone down hill.

Tonight was no frickin exception. I’ve seen dish water with more personality than this guy.

Sat in the bar at work before the date, everyone suggested that I meet him in the pub rather than the station. Good bloody idea! The thought now of prolonging the agony of no conversation is killing me, and I’m at home tucked up in bed with the knowledge that I never have to bother getting in touch with him again!

Let me take you through the scenario

Imagine him with a Tim Nice But Dim voice and I think it tells all the story you  need to know.

Me: Hey how’s it going. Nice to meet you! Sorry I was a little bit late, the trains were a bit buggered

Him: No problem. I got you a drink. I hope it’s ok. I know you said rose, but they had 3 different types and I wasn’t sure, so I went for this one.

Me: I’m sure it’s fine. Shall we try and find a seat.

Him: ………………………………………………………..

This then went on over the course of said drink. I’d ask a question he’d give me a one word answer and that would be all!

I made up some crap about needing to get home to do work, so that when the enivetable “Can I get you another drink” occured, I had a get out! It worked! I was home at 8:30. I think that’s a record for me!

Can we please send good luck vibes for Saturday. I don’t want marraige even if my profile picture on Twitter might suggest I do @singlemanlondon. I just want a fun date, with the potential for another more interesting one! Is that too much to bloody ask?